Heenan's Universal Dictionary
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TABLET
A small table
[Rural]
TACTICS
Knowing what to do
when there is something to do. See Strategy
[Savielly Tartakower 1887-1956]
TALK
To commit an
indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.
[Ambrose Bierce]
TEA LEAF
Thief.
[Rhyming]
TELECRASTINATION
The act of always letting
the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six
inches away. [Anon]
TELEVANGELISTS
Pro Wrestlers of modern Christianity.
[Anon]
TELEVISION
[1] An invention allowing you
to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home
[David Frost]
[2] The longest amateur night in history
[Carson]
[3] Chewing gum for the eyes.
[Wright]
TESTICLE:
A humorous question in an examination.
[Anon]
TETWRIST
Repetitive strain injury acquired
thru excessive computer gaming. [Palo
Alto]
THERAPIN
Acupuncture for amphibians.
[Indie]
THORGASM
Sex with a Norse God
[Anon]
TIBIA
Country in North Africa
[Rural]
TIME
[1] A great teacher, which kills all its pupils.
[Hector Berlioz]
[2] That which prevents everything occurring at once. [John Archibald Wheeler]
TINNY
[1] Beer can.
[Strine]
[2] Consistently lucky.
[Strine]
TIP OF THE ICE CUBE
Visible part of an insignificant
whole; "that outburst was just the tip of the ice cube"
[Anon]
TITFER
Hat (Tit for Tat).
[Rhyming]
TODD
Alone; "On yer Todd" (Todd Sloane
= On your own). [Rhyming]
TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of
today. [Anon]
TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.
[Anon]
TOURGASM
Sex while traveling
[Anon]
TRANSVESTITE
A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary
[Anon]
TRAVEL
Lengthens the conversation, rather than broadens
the mind. [Elizabeth
Drew]
TRIAL
A formal inquiry designed to demonstrate
the blameless characters of judges, advocates and jurors.
[Ambrose Bierce]
TROLLEOLOGY
The science of the correlating
the content of a shopping trolley with the pusher's personailty
[Anon]
TRUTH
[1] Begins as heresy; ends as superstition.
[T.H.Huxley]
[2] An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
[Ambrose
Bierce]
[3] The first casualty when war comes
[H.W.Johnson]
SCIENTIFIC TRUTH
Begins as heresy and ends as
superstition.
[T.H.Huxley]
TUBIQUITOUS
Omnipresent on television.
[Indie]
TUMOR
An extra pair [Rural]
TURBULENCE
A condition encountered by airplanes as soon
as coffee is served. [Anon]