Heenan's Universal Dictionary
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SAABATH
Swedish car wash.
[Indie]
SAINT
A dead sinner revised and edited.
[Ambrose Bierce]
SALVOS
The Salvation Army.
[Strine]
SARCHASM:
The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the reader who doesn't get it. [Anon]
SATIRIST
One who describes things exactly
as they are. See Romantic. [Crisp]
One who discovers unpleasant things about himself / herself, and then says them
about other people. [Peter McArthur]
SAW
A trite popular
saying, or proverb, so called because it makes its way into a wooden head.
[Ambrose Bierce]
SCARE-DO
Over the top hair style.
[Queen's]
SCHIZONOMIA
cancer of the pseudonym.
[Richard Bachman]
SCIENCE
[1] Trained and organised
common sense.
[Aldous Huxley]
[2] The art of systematic over-simplification.
[Karl Popper]
[3] Ninety per cent boredom. [Lord
Winston]
SCOREGASM
Sex with a competitive partner
[Anon]
SCREEN
Whut to shut when its blak fly season
[Rural]
SCRIBBLER
A professional writer whose views
are antagonistic to one's own.
[Ambrose Bierce]
SECRECY
The first essential in affairs
of the state
[Cardinal Richelieu]
SECRETION
Hiding something
[Rural]
SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.
[Anon]
SEIZURE
A Roman Emperor
[Rural]
SELF-DENIAL
The effect of prudence on rascality.
[G.B.Shaw]
SELF-ESTEEM
An erroneous appraisement.
[Ambrose Bierce]
SELF-EVIDENT
Evident to one's self
and to nobody else.
[Ambrose Bierce]
SELFISH
Devoid of consideration
for the selfishness of others.
[Ambrose Bierce]
SELF-SACRIFICE
A means of sacrificing
other people without blushing.
[G.B.Shaw]
SEMANTICS:
Pranks conducted by young men studying
for the priesthood, such as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together
just before vespers. [Anon]
SEX
[1] Not the only thing on Earth [Ann
Widdecombe]
[2] One of nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight
are unimportant.
[Henry Miller]
SHEENY
Peddler or street vendor, usually
of used articles or scrap; "If you don't behave yourself, we'll sell ya to the
sheeny." [Coal-Speak]
AUTOMATIC
SHIFT
When the driver moves closer to his girlfriend.
[Anon]
SHIN
Device for finding furniture in the
dark. [Palo Alto]
SHYNESS
Egotism out of its depth.
[Penelope Keith]
SILENCE
[1] The most perfect expression
of scorn.
[G.B.Shaw]
[2] The unbearable repartee [Chesterton]
SITCOM
What yuppies turn into when they have children:
Single Income, Two Children,
Oppressive Mortgage.
[Anon]
SLAGIATT
Seemed like a good idea at the time - ideal
trial plea, when "Guilty" and "Not Guilty" are just too subjective.
[Anon]
FREUDIAN
SLIP
When you say one thing and mean your mother.
[Anon]
SLOTHARIO
A man who aims to attract women
through slow-witted ignorance. [Indie]
SMITHAREEN
A fragment, a decomponent part, a remain.
[Ambrose
Bierce]
SMOKE-O
A break from work to indulge in
chit-chat and a cigarette. [Strine]
SNARKITIS
An uncontrollable tendency to be picky, severe cases
may include whining and schadenfreude. [HUD]
SNERT
Obnoxious
person who offends in an online chat room. (sexually nerdish expressively recidivistic
troll). [Palo Alto]
SNOREGASM
Sex without waking [Anon]
SNOWMINE
Potentially dangerous object hidden by snow
on the trail. [MTBike]
SOARGASM
Sex in a glider [Anon]
SOBER
A condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.
[Anon]
SOCIALISM
The intention to raise suffering to a higher
level. [Mailer]
SOFTWARE
Them dang plastik forks and knifs
[Rural]
SOLITUDE
The most companionable companion.
[Henry
Thoreau]
SORCERY
The ancient prototype and forerunner
of political influence
[Ambrose Bierce]
SOREGASM
Too much sex
[Anon]
SPAMOFLAGE
Bulk email messages delivered from
generic email addresses with innocuous subject headers in order to confound filtering
programs and spam-haters. [Palo Alto]
SPORT
Hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard for rules and
sadistic pleasure in violence ... War minus the shooting.
[George Orwell]
SPUNK
Good looking person (of either
sex). [Strine]
SPUSH
Indiscriminate, spamlike applications of push-media technology.
[Palo Alto]
MEDICAL STAFF
A doctor's cane
[Rural]
STATESMAN
[1] A
person with whose politics you agree.
[Lloyd George]
[2] A politician
who places himself at the service of the nation.
[Georges Pompidou]
[3] A dead politician. [John
Major]
STICKYBEAK
Nosey person.
[Strine]
STOREGASM
Sex at the supermarket
[Anon]
STRAIGHT LINE
Shortest distance between two jokes.
[Anon]
STRATEGY
Knowing what to do when
there is nothing to do. See Tactics
[Savielly Tartakower 1887-1956]
STREWTH
Exclamation
expressing surprise. From 'God's truth'.
[Strine]
SUBSTITIOUS
Believing in things which are
true, but no-one else believes (eg. 'It'll get better if you don't pick at it')
[Terry
Pratchett]
SUBVERTISEMENT
Using the techniques of
Madison Square to promote an anti-consumerism message.
[Palo Alto]
SUCCESS
[1] The one unpardonable sin
against one's fellows.
[Ambrose Bierce]
[2] Going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
[Sir Winston
Churchill]
SUPERMODEL
Model.
[Kington]
SUPERSTITION
The religion of feeble minds.
[Edmund Burke]
SWASHBUNGLER
Would-be Romeo, who contrives to bore Juliet
off her feet, with enthusiastic but futile attempts to impress. [Bonawitz]
SYNTHESPIAN
A digitally created character. Also called vactor (virtual actor).
[Palo Alto]
SYCOPHANT
One who approaches Greatness
on his belly.
[Ambrose Bierce]
SYRUP
Hair piece (Syrup of Fig
= Wig). [Rhyming]