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HABEAS CORPUS
A writ by which a man may be taken out
of jail when confined for the wrong crime.
[Ambrose Bierce] HABIT
[1] A shackle for the
free.
[Ambrose Bierce]
[2] A great deadener.
[Samuel Beckett] HAG
An elderly lady whom you do
not happen to like.
[Ambrose Bierce] HALF-INCH
Steal (Half-inch = pinch).
[Rhyming] HALLAWEENER
Trick-or-treater. [Coal-Speak]
HAMMOCKING
Slotting a TV show between two high-rated
programs to increase viewers. [Palo
Alto] HAMPSTEADS
Teeth (Hampstead Heath). [Rhyming]
HAMPTON
Penis (Hampton Wick). [Rhyming]
HANDKERCHIEF
A small square of silk or linen, especially
serviceable at funerals to conceal a lack of tears. [Ambrose
Bierce] HANGNAIL
A coat hook
[Rural] HAPPINESS
[1] No laughing matter. [Richard
Whately]
[2] An imaginary condition, usually attributed by adults to
children, and by children to adults. [Thomas Szasz]
[3] Agreeable sensation
arising from the misery of another. [Ambrose
Bierce] HARANGUE
A speech by an opponent, who is
known as an harrangue-outang.
[Ambrose Bierce] HARBOR
Where ships taking shelter
from storms are exposed to the fury of the customs. [Ambrose
Bierce] HARD DRIVE
Gettin home in the winter time [Rural]
HATCHET
A young axe. [Ambrose
Bierce] HATRED
A sentiment appropriate to the occasion
of another's superiority.
[Ambrose Bierce] HEARSE
Death's baby-carriage. [Ambrose
Bierce] HEAVEN
A place where the wicked cease from
troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention
while you expound your own. [Ambrose
Bierce] HECK
A place for people who don't believe in Gosh. [Anon]
HELPMATE
A wife, or bitter half. [Ambrose
Bierce] HELEN
Unit of beauty;
one helen is sufficient beauty to launch a thousand ships (see millihelen).
[Anon] HELL
Other people. [Jean
Paul Sartre] HEMORRHOID
A male from outer space
[Rural] HETEROSEXUALLY
CHALLENGED
Gay. [Queen's]
HERS
The property of a female HIS
See hers HISTORIAN
[1] A broad-gauge gossip.
[Ambrose
Bierce]
[2] A prophet in reverse. [Friedrich
von Schlegel] HISTORY
A race between education and catastrophe
[H.G.Wells]
HOARSEPOWER
The basic unit of laryngitis [Anon]
HOMER
A bit of luck; "Pull A Homer" ~ to succeed
despite idiocy. [Simpsons] HOMICIDE,
There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and
praiseworthy, though it makes no great difference to the person slain.
[Ambrose Bierce] HOPE
Desire and expectation rolled
into one. [Ambrose
Bierce] HORSESENSE
The thing a horse has which keeps
it from betting on people. [W.C.Fields]
HORSHIT
Politically correct abbreviation; He or she or it (h/or/sh/it).
[Anon] HOUSE
A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach,
fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus and microbe. [Ambrose
Bierce] HUBBLETALK
Rumours of Internet takeovers that involve
even sillier money than the bids seen before the Bubble Burst. [WebWork] See Bubbletalk.
HUMONGOUS
A silly and affected synonym for huge or enormous
[Anon] HUMOR
1.
Just another defense against the Universe.
[Mel Brooks]
2. The shortest distance between two people. [Henry Youngman]
HYPOCRISY
The homage paid by vice to virtue [Duc
de la Rochefoucauld] | 
