Heenan's Universal Dictionary

A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - XYZ

GADAR
The ability of a gay person to spot another at 126.5 metres, closeted or not. [Queen's]

GARTER
Elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her stockings and desolating the country. [Ambrose Bierce]

GAY
Good As You. [Queen's]

GEEK
See goon. [Anon]

GEEKOSPHERE
The area surrounding a computer where personal items are displayed.   [Palo Alto]

GENEALOGY
An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.   [Ambrose Bierce]

GENES
Blue denim slacks.   [Rural]

GENITAL
Not a Jew.   [Rural]

GENIUS
[1] The capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information. [Sir Winston Churchill]
[2] One who can do anything except earn a living. [Joey Adams]

GENTLEMAN
[1] One who never inflicts pain. [Cardinal Newman]
[2] One who lives by robbing the poor. [George Bernard Shaw]

[3] A man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. [Fred Allen]

GEOGRAPHER
One who can tell the difference between the outside of the world and the inside. [Ambrose Bierce]

GIBLETS
Useless but colorful items to be added, changed or dispensed with.  [MTBike]

GLAMBASSADOR
Diplomat selected for his or her celebrity and appearance, not for any particular knowledge of foreign policy or international affairs.  [Anon]

GLIBIDO:
All talk and no action. [Anon]

GOVERNMENT
Even at its best, a necessary evil; at its worst, an intolerable one.   [Tom Paine]

GHOST
The outward and visible sign of an inward fear. [Ambrose Bierce]

G.I.SERIES
A Soldiers Ball Game  [Rural]

GLAZING
Sleeping with your eyes open. "After 10 minutes, we were all glazing."   [Palo Alto]

GLIBIDO
All talk and no action. [Anon]

GLUTTON
A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia. [Ambrose Bierce]

GOON
See muppet. [Anon]

GOTCHIES
Underwear. [Coal-Speak]

GOTNEE
Have you got any? As in "Gotnee korders for da' meeder?" [Coal-Speak]

GRANTARTICA
The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding. [Anon]

GRATITUDE
The secret hope of further favours [Francois de la Rochefoucauld]

GRAVE
A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student. [Ambrose Bierce]

G-SPAT
Post coital argument.   [Indie]

GUILLOTINE
A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason. [Ambrose Bierce]