Heenan's Universal Dictionary
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FAIR GO
A chance ("give a bloke a fair go").
[Strine]
FAITH
An illogical belief in the occurrence
of the improbable.
[H.L.Mencken]
FAMOUS
Conspicuously miserable.
[Ambrose Bierce]
FANATIC
One who consciously overcompensates
a secret fear. [Aldous Huxley]
FANG SHUI
Cosmetic dental
reconstruction. [Indie]
CUBE FARM
Rows of cubicles, in place of private
offices (see prairie dog).
[Palo Alto]
FASHION
A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.
[Ambrose Bierce]
F-BOMB
The F-word; "He dropped
the F-bomb in fronna da nuns!" [Coal-Speak]
FELON
A person of greater enterprise than discretion,
who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
[Ambrose Bierce]
FESTER
Quicker
[Rural]
FIB
A lie that has not cut its teeth.
[Ambrose Bierce]
FIBRILLATE
To tell lies
[Rural]
FLABBERGASTED:
Appalled over how much weight you have gained.
[Anon]
FLAKE
To cancel at the last minute or fail
to show [Palo Alto]
COUNTER
FLAKE
Revenge flake
[Palo Alto]
PRE-EMPTIVE FLAKE
Getting counterflake
in first [Palo Alto]
FLATULANCE:
The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller
.[Anon]
FLOORGASM
Sex on the carpet [Anon]
FOOL
One who never tried an experiment in his life. [Erasmus Darwin]
FOOTBALL
[1] Complicated by the presence of the opposite
team. [Jean-Paul
Sartre]
[2] Not a matter of life and death - it's much more important
than that.
[Bill Shankly]
FOREPLOY
Misrepresentation or outright
lie offered with the aim of procuring sex.
[Anon]
FOURGASM
Sex with three of your friends
[Anon]
FOUR-O-FOUR
(of a person) Nothing there,
out to lunch; based on web error message
[Palo Alto]
FOXED
Said of a web site threatened
with legal action for copyright infringement, coined after 20th Century Fox sent
cease-and-desist letters to unofficial X-Files and Simpsons Web sites.
[Palo Alto]
FRAGGING
Assassination of an officer
by his own troops [U.S.Nam]
FRANKENFOOD
Food that contains genetically modified ingredients.
[World Wide Words]
FREEDOM
[1] The right to tell
people what they do not want to hear.
[George Orwell]
[2] Being allowed to sing in the bath as loudly as will
not interfere with my neighbour's freedom to sing a different tune in his.
[Tom Stoppard]
FRIEND
A member
of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes the prospect
of sex totally unappealing. (see umfriend).
[Anon]
FRIENDLESS
Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of
truth and common sense.
[Ambrose Bierce]
FRIENDSHIP
[1] A disinterested commerce between equals (see Love-1)
[Oliver Goldsmith]
[2] A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather,
but only one in foul.
[Ambrose Bierce]
FRISBATARIANISM:
The belief that, when you
die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. [Anon]
FROFFEE
Cappuchino (it was inevitable).
[Anon]
FRUST
The small line of debris that refuses
to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until
eventually it is swept under the rug.
[Anon]
FUTURE
[1] That period of time in which our
affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
[Ambrose Bierce]
[2] Not what it used to be. [Paul Valery]