Heenan's Universal Dictionary
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THE EARTH
Too small and fragile a basket for the human
race to keep all its eggs in.
[Robert Heinlein]
EASY
A term used by men to
describe a woman who has the morals of a man.
[Anon]
ECNALUBMA
A rescue vehicle which can only
be seen in the rearview mirror. [Anon]
EDUCATION
The soul of society, passing from one
generation to another.
[G.K.Chesterton]
EGOTISM
The anaesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
[Frank Leahy]
EGOTIST
A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
[Ambrose Bierce]
EGOSURF
To search the web (or other
medium) for references to oneself
[Palo Alto]
EIFFELITE
Person
who thinks the Eiffel tower leans.
It doesn't (see pisalite).
[Anon]
ELBONICS
The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie
theater or airplane. [Anon]
ELECTRICITY
The power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something
else. [Ambrose
Bierce]
ELEPHANT
A mouse built to government specifications.
[Anon]
ELEVERATION
The mistaken notion that the
more you press an elevator button the sooner it will arrive.
[Anon]
EMOTAG
HTML-derived tag, used to add 'emotional
depth' to mere words. <YAWN>See also emoticon</YAWN>.
[Palo Alto]
ASCII-drawn symbol, used to add 'emotional depth' to mere words. Common in usenet and email. See also emotag ยง;o) [Palo Alto]
ENEMA
Not a friend
[Rural]
ENGLAND
[1] The only country in the world where the
food is more dangerous than the sex. [Jackie Mason, US Comedian]
[2] The
paradise of individuality, eccentricity, heresy, anomolies, hobbies and humours.
[George
Santayana]
ENGLISH
A stretch language; one size fits all. [William
Safire]
ENGLISHMAN
First Prize winner in the lottery
of life.
[Cecil Rhodes]
ENVY
Emulation adapted to the meanest
capacity.
[Ambrose Bierce]
EPIGRAM
A short, sharp saying in
prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by
wisdom.
[Ambrose Bierce]
EPONYM
Thing named after a person;
from Jean-Jacques Eponyme, who invented the eponym.
[Miles Kington]
ER
The things on your head that
you hear with. [Rural]
ESPLANADE:
To attempt an explanation while drunk. [Anon]
EULOGY
Praise of one who has either the advantages
of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
[Ambrose Bierce]
EUROMINUTES
Scenes in TV shows cut
from US episodes to increase the time available for commercials.
[Palo Alto]
EUROPE
Where nothing goes
and everything matters (see America) [Philip
Roth]
EUROTRASH
Troll language; contriving to miss the point,
then delivering a highly exaggerated wounded response. Ineffective. [seo2seo]
EVANGELIST
One who assures us of our own salvation and
the damnation of our neighbors.
[Ambrose Bierce]
EVERFLUX
A constant state of low-level changes.
[Google]
EVOLUTION
A race to
stay in the same place. [Steve
Jones]
EXERCISE
Bunk. If you are healthy, you don't
need it, if you are sick, you shouldn't take it.
[Henry Ford]
EXILE
One who serves his country by
residing abroad.
[Ambrose Bierce]
EXPECTANT
Casualty who is expected
to die. [U.S.Nam]
EXPERIENCE
[1] The name one give's to one's mistakes.
[Oscar Wilde]
[2] Not what happens to you - but what you do with what
happens to you.
[Aldous Huxley]
EXTRATERRESTAURANT
An eating place
where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon.
[Anon]
EXTRAVAGANCE
Anything you buy that is of no use to your
wife.[Franklin P.
Jones]