Heenan's Universal Dictionary
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DAG
[1] Literally, the fouled wool on a sheep's bum.
[Strine]
[2] Scruffy
or unfashionable dressed person.
[Strine]
[3] Funny person, goof.
[Strine]
DAP
Handshake and greeting ritual which
may last up to ten minutes. [U.S.Nam]
DATING
The process of spending enormous amounts
of time, money, and energy to get to know a person whom you don't especially like
now and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
[Anon]
SALMON DAY
A day spent swimming upstream,
only to get nowhere. [Palo Alto]
D & C
Where Washington is
[Rural]
DEAD DABS
A dead ringer; "My uncle is the
dead dabs for Frank Sinatra." [Coal-Speak]
DEATH
The only thing yet to be completely vulgarized.
[Aldous Huxley]
DEBT
An ingenious substitute for
the chain and whip of the slave-driver.
[Ambrose Bierce]
DECAFFLON
Getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
[Anon]
DEFAME
To lie about another. To tell the
truth about another.
[Ambrose Bierce]
DEFEAT
Is an Orphan (see
victory). [John
F. Kennedy]
DEJA FU
The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've
been kicked in the head like this before.
[Anon]
DELIBERATION
The act of examining one's bread
to determine which side it is buttered on.
[Ambrose Bierce]
DEMOCRACY
[1] Government by the uneducated (see aristocracy).
[G.K.Chesterton]
[2] A device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
[George Bernard Shaw]
[3] The recurrent suspicion that more than half the
people are right, more than half the time [E.B.White]
DEPRESSION
When you lose your
job (see recession).
[Harry S. Truman]
DESIRE
The very essence of man.
[Benedict
Spinoza]
DIAGNOSTIC
One who thinks there may be two gods. Or
not. [Anon]
DIAPHRAGM
A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of
the bowels.
[Ambrose Bierce]
DICKY BIRD
Word; "Don't say a Dicky
Bird". [Rhyming]
DIET
Triumph of mind over platter. [Gerald F. Lieberman]
DILATE
To live long [Rural]
DILBERTED
To be bullied or humiliated by the boss.
[Palo Alto]
DIMP
A person who insults you in a
cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"
[Anon]
DIPLOMACY
[1] The patriotic art of lying
for one's country.
[Ambrose Bierce]
[2] The art of letting someone else have your way.
[Anon]
[3] The continuation of
war by other means.
[Chou En Lai]
DIPLOMAT
Someone who can tell you
to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
[Anon]
DISCONFECT
To sterilize the piece of candy
you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all
the germs. [Anon]
DISCOVERY
Seeing what everyone has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. [Albert
Szent-Gyorgyl]
DISCRIMINATE
To note the particulars
in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.
[Ambrose
Bierce]
DISTANCE
The only thing that the rich are
willing for the poor to call theirs, and keep.
[Ambrose Bierce]
DOG
Telephone; "I've been on the
dog for hours" (Dog and Bone).
[Rhyming]
DONTOPEDOLOGY
The art of opening your mouth and putting
your foot in it.
[Prince Philip]
DOORGASM
Sex in the foyer.
[Anon]
DOPELAR EFFECT
The tendency of stupid ideas
to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
[Anon]
DORKGASM
Sex with a nerd. [Anon]
DOS
Defective Operating System.
[Palo Alto]
Internet company, noted for spending millions on marketing just before stock exchange launch.
DOT
CORPSE
The same company, a few months after the stock exchange launch.
DOT CORPS
Traditional companies, trying to persuade stockholders that they have the qualities of a dot com. For some reason.
DOUBLETHINK
The ability to hold two contradictory beliefs in one's
mind simultaneously, and accept both of them. [George Orwell]
DOWNLOAD
Gettin the farwood off'n the truk
[Rural]
DRAMATIST
One who adapts plays from the
French.
[Ambrose Bierce]
DRILLIUM
Part with holes drilled
in to make it lighter. [MTBike]
DRONGO
Dope, stupid person.
[Strine]
DUH!
Response to the kind of person who
gets Heenan's Universal Dictionary back-to-front.
DULLARD
A member of the reigning dynasty in letters and life.
[Ambrose Bierce]
LOSER DUST
Invisible substance
covering those who can do nothing right.
[Palo Alto] .
DUSTBUSTER
Phone call or e-mail message
after a long silence - just to "shake the dust off".
[Palo Alto]
DUTCH
Wife (Duchess of Fyfe)
[Rhyming]
DUTY
That which sternly impels us in the
direction of profit, along the line of desire.
[Ambrose Bierce]