Heenan's Universal Dictionary
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BACCHUS
A convenient deity invented by the ancients as
an excuse for getting drunk.
[Ambrose Bierce]
BACKBITE
To speak of a man
as you find him when he can't find you.
[Ambrose Bierce]
BACRONYM
Same as an acronym, except that the
words were chosen to fit the letters. [Meredith G. Williams]
BACTERIA
Back door to a cafeteria
[Rural]
BAFTA
Award given to British film as compensation
for failing to get an Oscar.
[Miles Kington]
BALDERDASH:
A rapidly receding hairline.
[Anon]
BANANOSECOND
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking
the pavement. [Anon]
BANDWIDTH
The time, capacity or aptitude to deal with a problem
[Palo Alto]
BANK
Place where they lend you an umbrella in fair
weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. [Robert Frost]
BARIUM
What undertakers do. [Rural]
BAROMETER
An ingenious instrument which indicates
what kind of weather we are having.
[Ambrose Bierce]
BARRACK
Support, cheer on (football
team etc.). [Strine]
BEAUT
Great, fantastic. [Strine]
BEELZEBUG
A mosquito that gets into your bedroom
at 3am and cannot be cast out. [Anon]
BEEPILEPSY
Characteristic twitch when pagers vibrate.
[Palo Alto]
BEER
Proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. [Benjamin Franklin]
BEGATHON
Broadcast fund-raising event that employs every known form of guilt, sweet talking,
and outright begging. [Palo Alto]
BEIGEISM
The belief that bland, safe, boring is better. [Billy
Connolly]
BENIGN
What you be after you be eight
[Rural]
BERNIE
One Million Pounds, after Bernie
"Formula One" Ecclestone's controversial donation to the U.K. Labour party.
[Anon]
BETAMAXED
A superior technology sidelined
by superior marketing. [Palo Alto]
BHAJIN
Queue jumping at a curry house.
[Indie]
BIGOT
One who is obstinately and zealously
attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
[Ambrose Bierce]
BINVENTION
Cutting edge, state of
the art technological development with no discernable purpose.
[Indie]
BIODIVERSITY
A kind of washing powder.
[Anon]
BIRTH
The first and direst of all disasters.
[Ambrose
Bierce]
BLAMESTORMING
The corporate ritual of deciding
whose fault it wasn't [Palo Alto]
BLOCKBUSTER
Movie that fails to make a loss.
[Miles Kington]
BLOVIATE
To orates verbosely and
windily. [World Wide Words]
BLUDGER
Lazy person, layabout, scrounger.
[Strine]
BLUE
A fight.
[Strine]
BLUEY
Redhead.
[Strine]
BOAT
Face (Boat Race).
[Rhyming]
BOHICA
Bend over, here it comes again;
anticipation of management action.
[Anon]
BOLLYWOOD
The movie business in India, which
produces more motion pictures than any country in the world.
[Anon]
BOLOXOLOGY
A procedure or theory made artificially complex
to confuse customers and increase profit [Ryanair]
BONZER
Great, ripper.
[Strine]
BOOK
Good enough in their own way, but
a mighty bloodless substitution for life
[Robert Louis Stevenson]
BOOKMARK
Take note of a
person for future reference. [Palo
Alto]
BOONDOGGLE
Military operation that hasn't
been completely thought out. [U.S.Nam]
BOP-SHEE
Elderly woman. Comes from the Polish word
for grandmother. [Coal-Speak]
BORASIC
Financially challenged (Borasic Lint = Skint).
[Rhyming]
BORE
[1] A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
[Ambrose Bierce]
[2] One who possesses just one idea - the wrong one.[Dr.
Johnson]
BOREDOM
Rage spread thin. [Paul
Tillich]
BOREGASM
Sex with an accountant
[Anon]
BORGASM
Sex when resistance is futile
[Anon]
BOTTLE
Ass/arse (Bottle and Glass).
[Rhyming]
BOUNDARY
In political geography, an imaginary
line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary
rights of the other.
[Ambrose Bierce]
BOWEL
A letter like A, E, I, O,
or U [Rural]
BOZONE
Substance surrounding stupid people that stops intelligence from penetrating.
[Anon]
BRAHMS
Drunk (Brahms and Liszt = Pissed).
[Rhyming]
BRIDE
A woman with a fine prospect of
happiness behind her.
[Ambrose Bierce]
BRISTOLS
Breasts (Bristol Cities).
[Rhyming]
BRITUNCULI
Nasty little Brits (from the Latin) [Moonlight]
BRUSSEL
Scout (Brussel sprout = boy scout).
[Rhyming]
BUBBLETALK
Rumours of Internet takeovers that involve
silly money, not seen since before the Bubble Burst.
[Anon] See Hubbletalk.
BUCKLEYS
(Buckley's chance) No chance ("New Zealand stands Buckley's of beating Australia
at football"). [Strine]
BUREAUCRACY
A method for transforming energy into solid waste.
[Anon]
BURGICIDE
When a hamburger can't take any
more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.
[Anon]
BURNIE
Hot and spicey.
[Coal-Speak]
BUSTARD:
very rude bus driver.
[Anon]
BUTCHERS
Look; "Take a Butcher's at that!"
(Butchers Hook = Look). [Rhyming]
BUYSEXUAL
"You opens your wallet, you gets your
man" . [Queen's]
BUZZACKS
People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening
for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.
[Anon]
BUZZWORD COMPLIANT
When a product
is said by its maker to work with all the standards and tech trends du jour.
[Palo Alto]
TRIPLE BYPASS
Better than a
quarterback sneak [Rural]
BYTE
Whut them durn flys do [Rural]