Latest Entries:

BEIGEISM
The belief that bland, safe, boring is better. [Billy Connolly]

GENTLEMAN
A man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. [Fred Allen]

IMITATION
The sincerest form of television. [Fred Allen]

CELEBRITY
A person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. [Fred Allen]

TACTICS
Knowing what to do when there is something to do. See Strategy [Savielly Tartakower 1887-1956]

STRATEGY
Knowing what to do when there is nothing to do. See Tactics [Savielly Tartakower 1887-1956]

CHESS
[1] A sport. A violent sport. [Marcel Duchamp 1887-1968]
[2] The gymnasium of the mind. [Blaise Pascal]

REXY
Emmaciated, horribly thin (from anorexia) [attributed to Kate Moss]

PLAY
Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. [Evan Esar]

HAPPINESS
An imaginary condition, usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. [Thomas Szasz]

CHARISMA
The power to convince without the use of logic. [Crisp]

ROMANTIC
One who describes things better than they are. See Realist. [Crisp]

REALIST
One who describes things worse than they are. See Satirist. [Crisp]

SATIRIST
One who describes things exactly as they are. See Romantic. [Crisp]

ANECDATA
A rumor so good that it must be true. [HUD]

PIRATTITUDE
The appropriate attitude to adopt on International Talk Like A Pirate Day (September 19th). [Mark Summers and John Baur]

NUTRICIDE
Being bored to death by the Food Police. [HUD]

HORSHIT
Politically correct abbreviation; He or she or it = h/or/sh/it. [Anon]

About The Dictionary:

'Alternative' dictionaries have been about for much longer than I have; I have always loved them, and often wished I had collected all the strange definitions that I have heard over the years. But I didn't - so this started in late 1997. I have gathered words from newsgroups, email, dictionaries of quotations ... anywhere. Because the internet is so mobile, it is often impossible to be sure of authorship - though, in practice, most people will at least concede that they just do not know. This page has been prepared in good faith ...

Warning!

This Page is not a dictionary of quotations. While quotations often form the basis of definitions, they have usually been rephrased to suit the format. For example, Wilde said:

There is much to be said in favour of modern 
journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch 
with the ignorance of the community." 

Meanwhile, HUD says:

JOURNALISM
The opinions of the uneducated, reflecting the ignorance of the community. [Wilde]

I'm not improving Wilde's prose, merely paraphrasing to form a definition.

Acknowledgements

Credit where it's due: I have given credit where I can; and I will be pleased to acknowledge any help or information please send any corrections.

Contributions to Heenan's Universal Dictionary this year:

Mark N. Taylor, Editor, Georgia Chess Magazine

Copyright matters:

I do not expect payment for use of any of this material (c'mon!), and I am happy to admit that I have shamelessly borrowed from all over the web. But I created this page and worked into the night to put it all together, and I assert whatever rights I have. Similarly, if any owner of a definition would prefer I did not display it here, please tell me.

If you do copy any or all of it, please give me due credit, and quote the page address too: [ http://www.wordskit.com/words/]

If you liked this, you'll probably like these:

Word Oddities and Trivia
Everything you wanted to know about words but didn't know who to ask!

Words at Blackstump

Links to many fascinating resources.

I would love to add more to this page;   Contributions are welcome!

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