Funny Definitions of Words

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Latest Entries - Funny Word Definitions

This section of the site is devoted to funny definitions of words. Below you'll find the latest entries into our dictionary. For more funny word definitions, organized alphabetically, click on any of links above.

Like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. [Jack Handey]

DEMOCRACY is The recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. [ EB White]

A moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~ [Truman Capote]

Two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. [Terry Pratchett]

Defence of the status quo long after the quo has lost its status. [Laurence J. Peter]

Micromanagement taken to the point of stupidity. [Roger Ford]

A word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. [Burt Bacharach]

A person who helps himself because he can't help himself. Or herself! [Henry Morgan]

The modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. [George Santayana]

A group effort to keep the unexpected from happening. [Barbara Tober]

About the Funny Definitions Dictionary:

Funny Definitions of WordsAlternative dictionaries have been about for much longer than I have; I have always loved them, and often wished I had collected all the funny word definitions that I have heard over the years. But I didn't - so this started in late 1997. I have gathered words from newsgroups, email, dictionaries of quotations ... anywhere. Because the Internet is so mobile, it's often impossible to be sure of authorship--though, in practice, most people will at least concede that they just do not know. This page has been prepared in good faith...


This Page is not a dictionary of quotations. While quotations often form the basis of definitions, they have usually been rephrased to suit the format. For example, Wilde said:

There is much to be said in favour of modern journalism. By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, it keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community."

Meanwhile, HUD says:

The opinions of the uneducated, reflecting the ignorance of the community. [Wilde]

I'm not improving Wilde's prose, merely paraphrasing to form a definition.


Credit where it's due: I have given credit where I can; and I will be pleased to acknowledge any help or information please send any corrections.

Copyright matters:

I do not expect payment for use of any of this material (c'mon!), and I am happy to admit that I have shamelessly borrowed from all over the web. But I created this page and worked into the night to put it all together, and I assert whatever rights I have. Similarly, if any owner of a definition would prefer I did not display it here, please tell me.

If you do copy any or all of it, please give me due credit, and quote the page address too: []

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If you liked this, you'll probably like these:

Words at Blackstump - Links to many fascinating resources.

Language Jokes and Funny Definitions of Words - Along the same lines as this section of my site, only better.

I would love to add more to this page. Contributions are welcome! You can find my contact information on our about us page.

See also: References

This page was last updated on June 10, 2014.